Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
