My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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