Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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