I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
