Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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