dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my shit smells like andre
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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