so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Alive.
So much puke
We don't watch enough power rangers
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
