My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
