i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize