I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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