naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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