I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
