you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
