There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
