i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
