I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
