Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I met the friendliest cop last night
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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