But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
