i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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