I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
