In the future we'll all be gay
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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