Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Less talking, more tequila
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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