Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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