i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
What a dumb baby whore.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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