I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
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