...so i touched it.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
