You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
