just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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