he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize