the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
