Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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