YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
