is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
