I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
