I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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