Where are you?
In a non slutty way
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
