The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
As shirtless as possible
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
