My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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