I think im going to throw up on grandma
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
