I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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