ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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