i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
