3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
