Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize