You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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