I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You took a bar mat shot.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
