my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize