So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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