? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i out mim tonsoeep
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