i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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