Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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