I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
