Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
