Are we in a gay sports bar?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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