I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
