Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Do vagina's smell?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
