I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize