I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
