READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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