You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
